Confluence
by Merccy
Summary: Kate is sick of sand. CK


**Title:** Confluence

**Author: **Mercury

**Rating:** PG-13, to be safe

**A/N: **This is a Claire/Kate fic so please, if you don't like slash, don't bother reading. Thanks go out to B for betaing. Enjoy!

--

Kate is sick of sand.

When she stands by the edge of the island to wash her feet in the cool ocean water, the tiny particles drift away only to come back again with the tide, so when she takes her feet out of the water the gaps between her toes have little grains of sand plastered to them. And then later when she changes clothes she sees that sand has penetrated the protective layer of clothing she wears and she has rough patches of sand on her stomach and her legs.

So sometimes she just stands or sits on the shore, and lets the tide wash over her feet as she stares off into the distance and tries to feel like she's free because she doesn't have handcuffs on anymore. But sooner or later Jack will come and ask her whether or not she's decided on the move to the caves, or Sayid will sit next to her and pretend he's enjoying the view of the ocean while he fiddles with the transceiver, and when she takes her feet back out they'll be coated in sand again.

-

Most of the time Claire sits alone. Sits on a seat she's scavenged from what's left of the airplane, by the edge of the water or closer to the trees, and writes. Sometimes she stares out into the ocean and tries to look for the rescue boat she knows will be appearing at any moment, and she convinces herself so well that soon she'll see a speck of orange materialize on the horizon that she keeps all of her belongings in a neat little pile in order to be prepared when it comes. She trusts Jack (after all, he is a doctor -- the only doctor), but she trusts her OB/GYN at home even more, and when she thinks about delivering the baby on the island her heartbeat quickens.

-

(Kate misses turtlenecks in the fall and ice cream in the summer. She misses waking up to an alarm clock and taking the subway to work, eating toast on her way out the door in the morning and the drapes she sewed in her apartment, the tan ones that are chic and modern and very, very clean.)

-

"Hey." Claire says while Kate sinks further and further into the ocean, letting the sand glide in and out with the tide and leave streaks of beige on her feet. The water rolls back out in the infinite blue abyss again, pulling the sand off her feet before pushing it back on again and so on and so forth, and Kate needs a new hobby.

"Hey." Kate smiles.

Claire sits next to her slowly, one hand reaching below her to make sure she doesn't fall and one hand on her stomach, a reflex she's picked up over the months. "It's nice here."

"How's the baby?"

"He's good, I think. Here, feel." Before Kate can refuse (not that she would), Claire picks up her hand and presses it to her stomach, letting Kate feel the tiny rhythm of the baby's heart beat softly, slowly, as the baby kicks again and again.

Kate doesn't know what to say but "wow", and Claire smiles contentedly. Together they sit there for a while, enjoying the peace and quiet as they watch the sun slowly melt away on the backdrop of a clear blue sky.

-

(Claire misses screening her calls from her parents and hanging out with Rachel on Friday nights, sleeping late on Saturdays and eating sushi at little fashionable places while holding hands with Thomas. And yeah, she misses Thomas, but just a little bit.)

-

This time, Kate visits Claire when she's curled up on her seat alone. It's nice and quiet, and even though she should be glad she's finally free of all the men constantly following her around, Kate's too restless for the silence.

"How did you know I was a Gemini?" She asks, sifting through the sand with her fingers and watching the breeze carry it away when her fingers relax and release the sand from her grip.

Claire puts her diary away for the time being and says, "You're restless, elusive, adapt well to new surroundings… and from what I've seen, you don't like being tied down but you enjoy attention. Don't think I haven't seen you with Jack."

The eyebrow arch Claire applies so solemnly lasts for a brief moment before she and Kate are giggling, and Kate's happy she can talk to someone without having to deal with their ego or their hero complex, so she kisses her. And Claire kisses back.

-

For once the ground isn't sandy and normally Kate would be glad for this. But at the heart of the island there's no sand, just dirt and rocks, and twisted vines that form an elaborate labyrinth so when she runs she has to be careful she doesn't trip and fall. When the rain comes it turns the dirt into mud and she slipslides her way up the hill, down the hill, around the bend and over the rocks. Praying she'll see Claire here, praying she won't see her in the same place she saw Charlie. She's not even praying anymore, just blindly hoping without any real faith because she lost faith in a higher being too long ago.

Jack keeps going, driven by whatever keeps him going and she slips, falls. He keeps going, leaving a rainsoaked Kate behind to wipe muddy hands on mudstained khakis, but when she pushes the hair out of her eyes she still can't see anything because the rain is coming down in sheets. There's a vine to her left that she grabs so she can stand up straight for a minute and breathe.

Jack comes running in front behind her and grips her by the shoulders as she shivers and shakes in the cold night air. "I lost you, I'm sorry, come on, we have to keep going." Fragments of sentences are all he can say when he's this out of breath, but she understands and he points her in the right direction.

Up hill, down hill, over vine and under tree, around the rocks, soles sliding on slippery sludge.

At first when they see her Kate keeps running because that's not Claire is it? It's someone else lying in the mud by the rock with straggly hair, dark hair, and all the blood in the nearby water. The rain pours down and carries away the blood so that it trickles downstream and swirls around her feet, and her muddy shoes now have Claire's blood on them.

Kate turns around and throws up on a tree vine while Jack runs and starts checking for a pulse. She stands up, catches her breath and tries to breathe steadily, in and out, in and out, when Jack starts shouting.

"The baby's gone -- the baby's gone, it's gone, it's -- " His voice cracks but he keeps doing chest compressions. Kate grabs Claire's hand and sits in the mud, unsure of what to do or how to act because her brain is spinning and she's trying to pray.

By the time she realizes she's crying (sobbing, even), the rain's stopped. Some of the last raindrops fall from the trees and onto the ground, her face, Claire. Kate waits for Claire to start breathing like Charlie did and when she doesn't, Kate puts her hands up to her face and tries to breathe and cry and pray and live at the same time. Jack stops performing CPR and sits there looking lost and dazed and so blank Kate wants to slap him.

Eventually he goes over to her and places a tentative hand on her shoulder while she shudders and shivers, drawing in shallow ragged breaths as best as she can.

"She's gone, Kate. She's -- she's -- "


End file.
